I Wanna Do Bad Things To You – My Vampire Take

It’s sweeping the nation, invading everyone’s home, filling up book shelves, coffee tables, book stores and tons of blog posts, tweets and much more. The Vampidemic. (That’s epidemic + Vampire FYI). From what I’ve learned and my research on this particular problem, it’s targeting females ranging from ages 10 to 50 if not older. It’s leaving brothers, husbands, male friends stunned and simply put – embarrassed. These women are flocking to their television to turn HBO on. Um, Hello True Blood. They are throwing elbows, charging their already maxed out credit card with purchases of Twilight Books and the Twilight movie. Edward Cullen is now everyone’s imaginary boyfriend. Bill Compton is in their dreams. Females across the nation (heck probably even the world) are bearing their necks. “Bite Me”, has taken on a whole new level of meaning. Quite literally they want to be bitten. Sink the fangs right into their necks. And possibly earn the endearing term coined from True Blood, “Fang Banger”.

I have always had a interest in sci-fi. I’m a sci-fi nerd. Not a trekkie. Or a Star Wars Worshipper. Just something about the “not possible” being possible that peaked my interest. Can you blame me? Vampires walking amongst us, shape shifters shifting (awesome! the thought of my dog having a personality because she is actually a person not just an animal) goblins the true reason why I’ve lost the things I’ve lost. It’s fascinating. It’s fun. It’s sparking an imagination. But many years ago a friend of mine introduced me to Laurell K Hamilton. A science fiction writer. A creative mind writing about vampires and no less, a vampire hunter. Not Buffy The Vampire Slayer style. Nope. That’s on a much lower level of LKH’s work. It’s necromancers, it’s blood, it’s blood lust, it’s guns and fighting. It’s adult science fiction. Don’t forget before Twilight, before True Blood and the other popular vampire takes, there was Buffy, there was Angel. Don’t you remember those shows? What about Charmed? All science fiction. All a different realm. All before the this Vampidemic has over taken us all.

After delving into Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake series, I was definitely hooked on Vamps. I suppose I caught the vampidemic. I’ve said before, I refused the idea of reading Twilight. It was juvenile. I couldn’t stoop to that level of reading. Boy howdy, thanks to my niece, I was sucked in. Ha (sucking a pun!). Then along came Sookie Stackhouse in True Blood. Unknowingly Sookie has been infiltrating homes long before the major sweep of Twilight. How did I miss this? Brent and I picked up the first season on Blu-Ray and again got (sucked) in. Grand.

So as we are watching these HOT, (oh man they make me drool and act juvenile) Vamps; Brent pointedly said ‘You so want him to bite you’. Why, yes, please god yes! So what is the uproar about? Why is it we are all catching this Vampidemic? I’ve read articles ya know? They all state we are desperate. Um, OK?! Last I checked, men wrote them. We shall call them desperate!

It’s all about fantasy. And Harlequin romances are doing it for us anymore. So the cowboy rides in with no shirt, hot, sweaty, tanned, ripped and fixes our broken fence (or anything else we want to make up). It gets old. We’ve all been fans of the beloved Romeo + Juliet right? Everyone loves the idea of having something we must fight for. Right? Right? Damn, it’s probably just me. And I think that’s it. It’s about something forbidden. Something we have to fight for. It’s fantasy. It’s exciting. I’m not desperate, I just like to play make believe!

So men, you can keep your school girls. We want the blood suckers!!!!


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  1. Brit! ms Brit! Back up, sister!

    Anne Rice – she is the original Goddess of vamps, most definitely, and it was for me, back in 199(cough age cover here) that I discovered her and began my personal love affair with Louis, Armand, Lestat, Mr Ash, Mona, Rowan and Michael – even poor Lasher, and yes, I speak of the Vampire & Witch series… my favorite books of all time. All the other Twilights and Witch Childs and harry potters are just mere pre-school books compared to my Anne!

    LOL – vamparism – it is to our greatest fear that we cling, is it not?

    BITE ME!

  2. Well – I won't deny some morbid fascination but the whole scenario is too dark for my taste. I'll just opt to live and let live on this one….