I’m Chuck

I’m Chuck

I awoke this morning to two amazing texts messages, one from my BFF and the other from a friend saying “Morning Chuck”.  I’m Chuck. It’s my newest alter ego and the back story is long, complicated but mostly hilarious.

Brittany Greer

The fact of the matter is I awoke this morning euphoric. I sat poolside last night with a couple glasses of an adult beverage, music and texting my friends. I had a semi serious conversation with one of dearest friends and I have been playing it over and over and over in my mind. It went along with several conversations I had with The Miner while he was home this time.

And I am soooo sick of people chasing themselves. I was getting swept up in it a little bit. I was doubting myself and who I truly am. And the worse part, nobody else was encouraging it. They were looking at me like I was stupid. Even The Miner told me…my flaws…the things that I am checking off as horrible..are what he thinks are perfect.

PERFECT.

And it’s funny, it’s funny how you don’t see that one person gets you so well. Or numerous people. My BFF wrote about making a playlist, inspired by me…and this line:

My beautiful best friend has soundtracks for every mood (it is amazing, it is like she has background music for even the most mundane tasks like a well planned script. CRAZY)

 

That line is the PERFECT example of her “getting” me.  She will never ask me to change. She will never expect anything different of me. Even my flaws…the seriously bad ones…she LOVES. She isn’t enabling, she is accepting. And she has faith in me that I am an adult and know how to work things out on my own. I’m not a mistake, a failure or a bad person. I am me. And Chuck. I’m also Chuck.

But my life is a whirlwind. I’m a roller coaster, tilt a whirl and the elementary school swing (that goes so high you feel like you might fall as your are pumping your legs) all in one. I have a soundtrack to every move I make. If I am alone in the car listening to music, the people around me move to the music. I worship the sun and love to sweat. I believe in fate, magic and despise fairy tales. I say the things I mean and if I say I love you it’s not about a hidden agenda. It’s about actually loving every inch of your being…good and bad.

I’m stubborn, hard headed, proud and sometimes angry. I never consider the consequences. If I care about you, I won’t stand to lose you and I can’t be without you.  I am different. I am my own special blend.

And the greatest part, is that those that matter — love all of it about me. The good, the bad, the pain, the love. They wouldn’t ask me to change or make it any different.